Have you ever started doing something and for some reason it just started feeling like a bad idea? Have you ever wanted to buy something and you get this nagging sensation that you shouldn’t? Have you met someone before that seemed nice enough to you but for some reason you just feel uncomfortable around them?
I think we all would answer yes to those questions. We don’t know how we know, or why we know, but sometimes we just know things are amiss. That knowledge is coming from your inner voice. And the reason why we don’t know how or why we feel a certain way is because we sometimes do a bad job of listening to our inner voice.
Why is that? It’s our inner voice, so surely it’s working in our best interest. It’s a part of us so we should be able to trust it. And we probably would if we recognized it as our voice. The problem is that we don’t hear it clearly so we dismiss it as nerves, or a chill in the room. We rationalize it away because our conscious mind has come to a conclusion on the subject and we accept it must be the right one.
So why would our inner voice be at odds with our conscious mind? Because our conscious mind is easily swayed in the direction we want to go. When you started doing whatever it was you’re doing right now your conscious mind had a “good” reason for doing it. You don’t just start doing something for no reason at all. Your conscious mind decided this was the action you’ll take because it viewed it as the correct action. It’s therefor biased towards that decision. Or when you go to the store to get something your conscious mind has already decided that it should purchase that item. The decision is already made presumably with rational facts to back it up. And when you’ve already decided you like someone then surely they must be a good person. Your conscious mind wouldn’t allow you to befriend a bad person. And you’re a pretty smart cookie so it isn’t likely they could be fooling you into thinking their nice when they aren’t.
Your conscious mind is acting on the principle of confirmation bias. It will seek out all the facts that justify its position. Finding facts to support your position is a good thing. At least it is when you aren’t overlooking facts that suggest you’re wrong. That’s confirmation bias. We only accept the facts that confirm our point of view.
Your inner voice is different. It’s your subconscious mind. It isn’t interested in right or wrong. It’s merely going by what history tells it. It will access all the information pertinent to a decision, whether it confirms a position or not. It’s noticing all the facts and is seeing something wrong. So when it’s giving you that off putting feeling about the person you’re talking to it’s because it knows from previous patterns that there’s something wrong with this guy. It doesn’t care that he “seems nice” or comes off as a “good guy”. It is picking up on subtle hints that your conscious mind is overlooking that lets it know there’s reason to be concerned.
It’s like your own built-in “spidey sense.” You just have to tune in to it. How do you learn to hear your inner voice more clearly? The same way you hear outer voices better. You stop and listen. If you get that tingly feeling at the back of your neck, question why. If you’re looking at that new TV you wanted and something about it doesn’t feel right, pause a moment and ask yourself “what am I missing?” And then listen to what your inner voice tells you. You don’t have to blindly follow everything it says, just give it a chance to be heard.
Another way to hear your inner voice better is similar to what you do when you are trying to listen to music or are on a phone call in a noisy environment. You change your location to a quieter one. The way you change to a quieter location in your mind is through meditation. Breathe in and out slowly and rhythmically, focusing on your breath. When you feel your body relaxing let your mind relax as well. As thoughts pop into your head that aren’t related to what you’re trying to figure out just gently release them without judgement. When your body is relaxed and your mind is calm start asking yourself questions about the area you’re looking for insight into. Do this often enough and it will become a habit where you can quickly slip into the relaxed and self-aware state.
Like many changes you can make in your life, if you’ve been ignoring your inner voice for a long time it’ll take a while to get back into the habit of listening to it. But it’s a habit worth spending time on developing. Your inner voice can be a great and helpful guide if you allow it to be in your life. As with all things the choice is yours. Have a nice day.
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