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Archive for the ‘blame game’ Tag

Weekly Weigh In 2019-03-25   Leave a comment

Sorry about going dark the last few days.  I was getting ready for my trip here to Orlando, FL where I’m at training for my new job.  As such I don’t have the scale with me so no numbers for this week, just a quick check in.  Now that I’m situated here at the hotel I’ll try to be better about posting daily.  If I miss a day I hope you’ll understand as the priority has to be the training right now.  Hope you’re having a great day.  I know I am.  It’s always fun being to a new city with new things and places to explore.  Peace.

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Weekly Vlog Is Up On YouTube 2019-03-06   Leave a comment

This week’s video is up.  It’s about being mindful about your self-talk.  Your brain is a computer and it’ll accept whatever input you give it.  Tell it you’re stupid and it’ll accept that.  So it’s very important to consider what you’re telling yourself.  Leave a comment telling me what you think.  Also feel free to leave suggestions for topics or how I can do better with my videos.  Leave a Like and Subscribe if you enjoy the content.  Click the bell if you want to be immediately notified every time I post a video.  Have a great week.  Peace.

Quick Thank You   Leave a comment

So I’ve been tracking how my YouTube channel has been doing in terms of views and minutes watched.  I have a little spreadsheet I made just for that purpose.  And this morning when I entered the numbers I saw that I had reached a happy milestone.  I’ve gotten over 500 views.

I started my YouTube channel last October.  It’s just barely over 4 months old so that’s about 125 views a month.  I’m very happy with that number.  Some channels may be growing way faster than that, but I also know that a lot of channels get started and never make it to 500 views.  So it’s a good first big hurdle to have gotten over.

At the beginning of the year I decided to recommit to a full year of producing content for the channel at a minimum of 1 vlog per week.  Now I’ve decided it’ll be 2 per week as I’ve started doing my weekly update in video form.  If I manage to get a review video in at least every other week that would mean over 100 more videos to go before I make the final decision about the channel.

But honestly I think I’ve already decided.  Every week the channel starts growing a little faster.  The number of subscribers keeps slowly increasing.  And at a certain point I’m guessing things will start increasing faster and faster and I’ll reach more and more people.  In the end though, come December 31st if I still have one subscriber following me I think I’ll keep going because as long as I’m helping someone it just feels good to do.

I really hope that I’m reaching a lot more than 1 person of course, but even 1 will be enough.  There’s 10 more months and some change to go and I look forward to spending it sharing with you guys who’ve made this journey worthwhile for me.  I thank you for your support in watching my videos and following this blog.  In a little over a month this blog will hit one year since I restarted it and I’ll do a thank you post and recap at that time.

To end this one I’ll thank you again real quick.  If you have any suggestions or comments about the YouTube channel or this one, feel free to leave them here or there.  I hope you’re having a great day.  I know I did starting it out with that great news.  I look forward to seeing you soon.  Peace.

New Vlog Up On YouTube.   Leave a comment

What happens if you’ve been trying to lose weight on the ketogenic diet but nothing is happening?  Keto isn’t working for you.  This vlog covers reasons why this could be happening and what to do about them.  If you like the content please leave a like on my YouTube channel.  It helps with my chances of being seen in search results which helps others find my videos.  And I’m trying to reach out and help as many people as possible.  Subscribe and click the notification bell if you’d like to be notified immediately when I post.  Leave a comment here or there letting me know how I did.  If you have an agreement, or even a disagreement, I’d love to hear it.  Suggestions on how to improve the vlog are definitely welcome.  I hope you’re having a great day, which leads to a great week, and then a great life.  Peace.

How You Choose To Be.   Leave a comment

When I was born just over 48 years ago, I came out a little off.  I was a mostly healthy baby with one glaring exception.  On my left leg my foot was malformed.  The foot was curled up such that my big toe actually touched my ankle.  It’s a condition known as clubbed foot.

Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.  I was born at just the right time.  The defect was correctable to a certain extent by surgery.  If you look at my left foot sans sock and shoe you can see it’s different.  And I don’t mean just because of the scar that runs across the top.  It’s shaped differently then my right foot.  And there’s an indentation on top near the ankle joint on the left hand side.  But aside from the cosmetic difference it functions mostly as well as my right ankle.  It’s just easier to twist and if I go too hard on it the ankle will hurt and stay sore for days.  It used to be worse when I was heavier and it was sore all the time to varying degrees.

On one such occasion it actually did something it had never done before.  The pain started climbing up my shin.  I’d gotten used to the normal pain coming from it. I’d actually tune it out a lot of the time until I did something to tweak it.  But if I paid attention to the ankle I would notice the pain.  This time I didn’t have to pay attention, the pain up the shin got my attention.  Knowing I had a “bad ankle” made me feel very concerned about what I may have done to cause the pain to reach the shin so I decided to go to the podiatrist to have it looked at.

He looked at some x-rays of it and physically examined it.  He asked me about a usual day at work to get an idea of what could be the issue.  I told him that I worked 10 hour shifts and could wind up standing for as much as 8 hours of it. He said based on his examination I shouldn’t be able to do that.  I shrugged my shoulders at him and replied, “well I do.”  He responded that why I was experiencing the pain was pretty simple.  It was kinda cool, yet kinda disconcerting.  He said that my ankle was maybe 10% useable so there really wasn’t much of anything I could do to damage it more by just walking on it.  He also said that because it was only 10% useable and I was standing on it all day I was wearing down the other muscles which had to compensate for it and that was causing the pain.  So good news was I wasn’t hurting anything, bad news was not hurting anything really hurt.

What he said next has stuck with me for the years since this event happened.  He told me that as my left ankle was less than 10% useable that meant my left leg would be viewed as less then 10% useable.  According to the state of Alaska, where I lived at the time, that made me disabled.  Because of my ankle I was qualified to go on public assistance in the state of Alaska due to my disability.

Here’s the thing.  I’m not disabled.  For over three decades prior to being told I was disabled I had been living my life without a disability.  This wasn’t denial, or refusing to be labelled.  Or not being able to accept being disabled.  That’s not what I’m saying at all.  What I mean is that while my ankle may have hurt more as I did more, I was never in a position where I felt I wasn’t able to do the things I wanted.

In the podiatrist’s office I was being offered to have the state of Alaska pay for my life.  I met the criteria for getting those benefits.  I wouldn’t be lying.  I wouldn’t be cheating.  It would all be very proper and legal.

But for me it would be wrong.  I knew I didn’t need that.  I knew my “disability” didn’t stop me from holding my job or earning a living on my own.  So if I said yes and filled out the paperwork I’d be getting money that in my mind I didn’t deserve.  Money that then couldn’t go to help someone who actually needed the assistance.  That’s not who I wanted to be.

In life we’re all offered choices about how we will act in different situations.  Someone does you wrong, physically or emotionally.  They’ve given you cause for anger.  They’ve given you cause for vengeance.  But ask yourself, who do you want to be?  Maybe one of your coworkers is an under-performer and the bosses let him get away with it.  Why should you work hard if he doesn’t have to?  But ask yourself, who do you want to be?  You get to your car and realize that the cashier at the store you were just shopping at gave you more change then you deserved.  It’s not your fault.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It really isn’t your mistake to fix.  But ask yourself, who do you want to be?

No matter what the circumstance you always have a choice of how you choose to be.  Choose to be the best version of yourself in each situation.  Your future self will thank you for it.  Have a nice day.

The Blame Game   Leave a comment

I mentioned a few posts back that I went on a trip to Bellingham, WA.  I live in Alabama so I had to fly to get there and back.  As I was proceeding to check in for the flight home, a guy came running into the airport and ran straight up to the counter.  He stated he was on a flight that was about to leave.  The woman at the counter asked which flight, and when he told her, she stated the flight was already closed and she couldn’t check him in now.  He stated that he had to get on that flight, he just had to.  She told him there was nothing she could do about it.  He complained that she was being unreasonable and she reminded him that he was supposed to arrive at the airport two hours early for his flight.

Frustrated, the guy tried to explain the situation to her.  His alarm didn’t go off that morning so he got a late start.  He drove to the border as fast as he could but the traffic was heavier than expected and moved at a snail’s pace.  When he got to the US/Canadian border, there was a back up because Customs was going so slow.  He had done everything he could to get there on time but life had just conspired against him.  He wasn’t to blame.  Couldn’t she just help him out?

We all play the blame game.  Nobody wants to admit that they’re at fault.  It’s an ego thing.  If we admit fault we are admitting there’s something wrong with us.  We erred. And that can’t be right.

So we assign the blame to others.  Or we assign it to situations completely beyond our control.  Like the guy at the airport.  He’d made a good faith effort to be there on time but a series of cascading delays befell him.  He can’t be held accountable for that, can he?

It is true that there are events over which you’ll have no control.  You might be smitten by someone, but you can’t make them return the feeling.  You can take perfect care of your vehicle and then a defective part can sideline it.  You say or do something with one intention, but can’t control how others will interpret it. I get that.

The problem with the blame game is it cedes control to factors outside of us.  If the problem exists outside of us there’s nothing we can do to change it.  And there’s always something we can do.  After all, you at least have control over how you react to a situation.

But it’s easier to blame circumstances beyond our control.  That way we can never be at fault.  You can’t blame me for the traffic or the border.  I don’t control those.  There’s a problem with nothing ever being your fault though.  It means you’re admitting ALL circumstances are beyond your control.

You’re a passenger in your life, not the captain.  You have no determination in the events in your life.  If every time something bad happens to you, you’re powerless to stop it then you have no control, period.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself “I still make decisions.  And all the great things I’ve accomplished were my doing.  I can take credit for them.”  Even if that’s true, when you’re powerless to stop the bad things from happening, at any moment something bad can take away all that good you did.  And by your own admission, it’s out of your control and you can’t stop it.

To be able to stop it you’d have to take ownership.  Admit that there were factors in your control.  Take the guy at the airport for example.  He could take ownership of the fact that he didn’t have a back up alarm, just in case.  Or he could take owernship of the fact that both average traffic wait times, and border wait times, are available for searching on the internet.  He could take ownership of the fact that if the flight was so important he could have decided to cross the border way earlier then he needed to.  It may have run the risk of making him wait way longer for the flight, but it would have lessened the risk of being late.  All of that was under his control

So I guess it’s up for you to decide what kind of life you want.  Do you want to be the person who is dragged through life by Fate?  No real say in how things will turn out.  No real hope because you know it’s all out of your control.  Or do you want to be the Captain of your ship?  Your hand firmly on the rudder of your life.  Focused on ownership and personal responsibility.  The true creator of the best version of yourself.  Make your choice, and accept the life that comes with it.  Have a great day.