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Archive for the ‘law of attraction’ Tag

Specificity   Leave a comment

One of the people I know loves to watch baseball.  Myself, I’m not a big fan of the sport, but I’ll watch it with her when she has it on.  She really gets into the game, including speaking to the television, encouraging her team on to greatness.  This led to a funny exchange the other day.

She was watching her team play and she said to the screen, “Ok, we need a hit here.”  After a few pitches the player hit the ball, right into an out.  She wasn’t happy about it and wondered what had just happened.  I said, “he did what you asked.”  She looked at me with an incredulous look.  “You asked for a hit and he did hit the ball.  You never specified what kind of hit you wanted.  Details matter.”  She looked at the screen and said “Ok, I want a home run.”  Sure enough, when the next player finally connected with the ball, he knocked it out of the park for a home run.  She looked over at me with amazement and I just repeated, “details matter.”

Now, I’m not claiming that she caused the home run.  I do believe in the law of attraction, but I doubt this was a case of it working.  I think it was more just a funny coincidence.  But it’s a funny coincidence that makes a great point.  Specificity in direction is important.  Details do indeed matter in life.  This is especially true in goal setting.  The more specific you are about your goal the better the chance you’ll realize it.  There are a number of reasons why this is true.

First, it really isn’t a meaningful goal if it isn’t a specific one.  Think about it.  How accomplished will you really feel if your goal today is to exercise?  It’s a very vague goal.  Pick up a semi heavy object and put it back down and you’ve essentially reached your goal.  Move ten feet farther than you needed to today to achieve your to do list and you’d have hit the goal as well.  But will you feel any sense of accomplishment meeting those benchmarks?  Probably not.  Now set the goal “I’m going to go on a 15 minute walk.”  That’s substantially more specific then “I’ll exercise today.”  It specifies not just that you’ll exercise but also what kind and for how long.  When you go out for that walk and return 15 minutes later you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment because you met a specific goal.  How strong a sense of course will depend on how much your goal pushes you to achieve it.  If you can easily walk 15 minutes then it’ll be a small sense of accomplishment.  If you’re just starting out and live most of your life sitting down, you’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment.

Second, details make it measurable.  “I’m going to make more money” is vague.  If I walk down the street and find a penny I’ve reached my goal.  I have more money then I did before.  I can stop trying now.  “I’m going to earn enough money to buy a ticket to go visit my friends in Alaska” is specific.  That penny I just found won’t cut it.  I could find a penny every day for a year and I wouldn’t even be able to buy a snack on the plane, let alone the ticket.  So I haven’t reached the measurement yet.  I need to keep going to reach my goal.  The goal posts are in a very specific location so I know how long to keep working at it.

Finally, to create a specific goal you’ll be required to think about it.  Using the first example, when creating an exercise goal you need to consider many factors.  What kind of fitness level are you trying to achieve?  Are you more interested in muscles or endurance?  Are you looking for fast results or do you have time to achieve your goal?  By considering all these factors you’re creating goals that are more relevant to you.  The more relevant the goal is to you the more likely you’ll achieve it.

You’re also going to create more reasonable goals when you think about them.  Using the second example, if you want to go visit your friends in Alaska you also have to consider different factors.  How will you get there?  Buses will get you there but will take days.  So flying would seem more reasonable.  How will you fly there?  Private charter would be really cool, but if you’re saving for the trip in the first place, it probably isn’t very reasonable.  First class tickets might be a bridge too far as well.  So now you’ve considered your options and your goal is to buy an economy ticket on a commercial airline by saving your money where you can.  That’s a very reasonable goal.  The more reasonable your goal is, the more you’ll believe in your ability to carry it out.  When you create unreasonable goals your subconscious knows you don’t stand a chance of making it and will sabotage every effort you make toward the goal.

So as you move forward into the future setting goals on how to improve your life, make them specific, measurable, and reasonable.  Give yourself every chance to succeed and you will.  Set yourself up for failure, and you’ll easily reach that goal too.  Me, I’m partial to hitting home runs.  Have a great day.

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Tending your Garden   Leave a comment

I heard the best analogy today.  The person mentioning it didn’t know who originally said this other than they knew it’s an older idea, and he thought it may be Earl Nightingale.  If you know who came up with this analogy please feel free to let us know in the comments.

The analogy likened ones mind to a garden.  When you start a garden you have a new patch of soil.  The soil doesn’t really care what you plant in it.  It isn’t like you plant carrots and the soil says no and grows cabbage instead.  The soil is an unbiased medium.  It just waits for you to plant whatever seeds you want to.

The mind is the same way.  It takes in whatever you choose to plant, without judgement or reservation.  If you plant doubt, you’ll grow more doubt.  If you sow the seeds of fear, you’ll be fearful.  However, if you sow the seeds of prosperity, you’ll prosper.  If you plant healthy thoughts and goals, you’ll be healthy and move in a healthy direction.  The mind simply doesn’t care, it waits for you to decide.

But that’s only part of the picture.  You see if you want good things to come into your life (money, love, happiness), you can’t just plant the seeds and wait for the results.  If you’ve ever had a garden (or even just a house plant), you know that for the seeds to grow you must regularly tend to the garden.  If you just plant the seeds and leave them, sure, there’s a chance you might get some fruits from it.  But why leave it up to chance?

Once you’ve planted the seeds, go back and regularly tend to your garden.  Water your seeds.  Make sure there’s plenty of sunlight.  If you see weeds creeping in, go pull out the weeds before they ruin your seeds.  As the plant grows, trim and prune it so that unhealthy parts of the plant don’t go back to infect and destroy the healthy parts.

What mental crops do you want?  It’s easy to say that you want roses (or whatever your favorite flower is).  But are you truly planting rose seeds?  If you want to be happy think happy thoughts.  When you start having thoughts that aren’t happy (mental weeds), root them out and destroy them.  Give it plenty of good food to grow strong like books on meditation or self-help guides.  YouTube channels that promote positivity and being better.  Spend time meditating to enrich your soil.

Same goes for money.  If you constantly dwell on the lack of it, those are the seeds you plant.  And you will grow lack.  So grow the seeds of abundance.  Nurture your abundance plant by being grateful for the things you already have.  Feel you are worthy of more.  Take steps to create different pathways for the money to come to you.

Or being in shape.  If you’re constantly planting seeds of a bad body image you’ll grow more self-doubt.  So plant seeds of self acceptance.  Be happy with who you are.  Feed your soil by looking in the mirror and smiling at yourself.  Literally water yourself.  The same H20 that makes your plants healthy and strong does the same for you.

Whatever it is you want in your life, plant the seeds of desire for it.  Go back regularly to tend to your garden and remove factors that might hinder your progress.  You’re garden is your life.  How well it turns out is directly proportional to the energy you put in to it as the gardener.  I’ll leave you with that thought, have a nice day.

Are You Being Your Best Version?   Leave a comment

How many times have you gone to an action movie, and after watching the hero pummeling all the bad guys into submission, left the theater imagining wha it would be like to be the hero?

Maybe he was an amazing martial artist.  You see yourself blocking punches or dodging kicks and then swiftly countering with precise and lightening fast attacks of your own.

Maybe she was a cop, arresting and bringing the bad guys to justice, or possibly the morgue.  You think of all the bad guys you could confound if you also had the training and the badge.

As a kid I used to love watching the old Christopher Reeve Superman movies.  Well at least the first two.  They went a little off track starting with number three.  I’d dream of what it would be like to be stronger than a locomotive.  Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Being faster than a speeding bullet.  I’m sure we all enjoy striking the Superman pose, or Wonder Woman for the ladies.  I’ll be 48 in a few days and I still day dream from time to time what it’d be like to just go up, up and away.  Flying through the air without a care in the world.

And there’s nothing wrong with any of that.  A healthy fantasy life is, well, healthy.  It’s great to have dreams, even if they’re impossible ones.  No matter how much I dream about it or try to become him, I’ll simply never be the last son of Krypton.

The question is, with all the amount of time you dream about being this hero or that incredible person, how much do you actually spend thinking about being the best possible version of yourself?

Do you really want to be some martial arts master getting into fights with the baddies all the time?  Probably not.  Is it really your dream to be a detective like in the movies?  I’m guessing you’d prefer not to have that many people shooting at you in the course of 2 hours.  Besides, of all the characters you could be, why not be the one you were destined to be, you!

And if you’re going to be you, why not be the best you possible?  Doing that will require you to think about what that version of you is.  And it can be anything you want, even if it’s a cop or a ninja.  You just need to spend a little time figuring out what you want to be.

So take a little time today, or in the next few days, to go somewhere quiet.  Sit or lay down in a position that’s comfortable for you.  Close your eyes and think to yourself, “if I didn’t have to worry about how I would get there, what kind of life would I love to be living?”  Maybe you’ve always wanted to be a writer.  Perhaps a millionaire.  Could be money has nothing to do with your dreams. You’d rather be a healer or a teacher, even if it doesn’t mean big bucks for you.

Just keep sitting or laying there with your eyes closed imagining that future.  What do you do each day?  What’s your job?  Do you even have a job?  How do you spend your free time?  What kind of clothes do you wear?  Where do you live?  What do you look like?  Most importantly, how do you feel?  If it’s happy or content or relaxed or it just plain feels right, chances are this is your best version.  The key is while doing this, don’t worry about how it could come true, the limits you think you have to live within, or the probability of success.  Just dream about living life as the best version of yourself.

And once you’ve decided, then you can spend time figuring out how to get there.  You have to set the destination first before you can consider the path you’ll take.  It might be a difficult path, or it might be an easy one.  Maybe your best version of yourself isn’t that far from who you are now.  Then again it could be a life you’ve literally only dreamed of.

From there you start setting goals.  And then you keep breaking those goals down into smaller goals.  And maybe even again if you need to.  You just pare it down until you have a list of goals you know you can knock over one by one.  Whether the list is long or short is irrelevant. You just take item number one and get it done.  Then on to number two.  And you just keep going.

Along the way I’d recommend meditating regularly on what you visualize as your best version.  Times change and so do you.  Even if you come to the exact same dream you’re reinforcing this view of you in your mind.   If it changes then it’s easier to course correct earlier on the path than later.

But always break the goals down into smaller goals you know you can accomplish and keep moving forward.  You’ll get there eventually, and when you do you won’t care about the journey any more because you’ve arrived at the greatest destination possible.  The best version of you.  Take care and have a nice day.

Gratitude   Leave a comment

A lot of nice things have happened to me lately.  I’m down 70 pounds from the beginning of the year.  I’ve done a decent job on working on my spending and financial habits.  I just got back from a wonderful trip to Bellingham, WA to visit my friends.  I don’t need an extender for my seat belt when I fly anymore.  In the past few months I’ve randomly ran into two people I haven’t seen in years.  It’s a pretty nice list and there’s even more I could add.

I’m certain if you spent a few moments you could come up with a list of your own.  Special things that are easy to notice.  When an unexpected happiness comes into our lives it’s easy to see it against the background of the regular.  Here’s the thing, you don’t only have to be grateful for the big things that stand out.  You can be grateful for all the small blessings you tend to overlook because they’ve become commonplace in your life.

If you’re reading this right now you’re still alive.  That’s something to be grateful for.  And you have some kind of electronic device to read this on.  Again, something to be grateful for.  You have an internet where you can find blogs like mine, you could be grateful for that as well.  Just the events surrounding your reading this post, including having the knowledge it takes to comprehend the language it’s written in, provides a nice list of things to be grateful for.

What if you spent some of tomorrow thinking about the different things in your life from this perspective.  What all goes in to your daily commute that you could be grateful for?  Do you have your own car?  That qualifies.  If you don’t then it’s likely you have access to some other conveyance that takes you too and fro.  Maybe it’s a friend who drives you, or a subway, or an Uber (or Lyft if that’s your preference).  Those are things to be grateful for.  Even if you walk, you can be grateful that you have the ability to walk and the energy to do so.

Anything you do tomorrow can provide numbers of opportunities to be grateful.  Cooking, typing, watching TV, even cleaning the house.  It’s just a matter of looking for the things in them to be grateful about.

Now if each one thing you do has a decent list of things to be grateful about, and you do a great number of things in the day, you’ll have a very long list at the end of the day.  That should make you feel pretty happy.  And it’s probably the same kind of day you’ve been just existing through for months and years now.  The only difference is you’re taking time to realize what’s good in it.

If you spend all that time thinking about how good things are, how grateful you are about these things, you take away time from focusing on things that bring you down.  Or things that try to convince you that life isn’t so good.  You get to choose what to focus on. It’s your life after all.

To help you along your way I recommend getting a note pad or a journal and just writing down three things a day you’re grateful for.  They make apps for smartphones that make this task even easier.  You just have to bring the commitment to do it.  Try this for a week, or if you can a month, and tell me how it feels.  I’m betting if you spend a few minutes every day taking note of three things to be happy for you’ll notice two big differences by the end of the month.

First, I’m betting that along the way you’ll notice that you started writing down more then three things.  It’s contagious.  Once you notice three things it’s easy to see a fourth or a fifth or a tenth.  And when that habit builds and the list gets longer each day you’ll notice a second thing, how much happier you are.  After all how can you not be happier when you realize all the blessing in your life.

It’s up to you of course.  It’s your life, use your time as you please.  But if giving up just a few minutes a day could lead to a happier you in a month, it seems like a small risk of time investment for such a possibly big payout.  Take care, and see you soon.

You never know.   Leave a comment

First things first, a quick weigh in check in.  I’ll do this quickly because I just did the post the other day about my progress coming back from vacation.  This week I weighed in at 283.0 pounds.  At 38.7% body fat that means I’m down to 109.5 pounds of fat.  Closing in on being less than 100 pounds of fat.  Just a little over 76 pounds of muscle.  A small but good increase.  A very pleasant weigh in.

Of course since I’m off of vacation now I’m also back at work.  Today was my second day back.  I’m not really happy with my job right now, mainly because I don’t like how I feel at the end of the day.  My attitude can be pretty negative.  I’m taking steps to look for a new job but in the interim I’m having to deal with those feelings. So I left work with a “glad that’s over” mindset, which isn’t a really healthy one.

On the way home I just wasn’t happy with my life.  I got home and had a nice keto meal.  Still not feeling it, I went to my room and laid back in bed for a quick nap.   I decided to check my phone first.  There was a ton of Instagram alerts about a post I was tagged in from a company I buy my keto creamer from.  It’s http://www.prymal.com if you’re interested (I am not an affiliate nor do I make any money/benefit from this, I just really like Courtney’s creamers).

I clicked on a notification and it took me to her post about how men like flavored creamers too (guilty!).  And right there, top center in a collage she made, was a pic of me I had taken on vacation and posted on Instagram.  It so made my day to be featured in a man crush Monday collage of her loyal, male customers.

As I scrolled through the rest of my alerts I found one from Courtney.  She had left a comment on that picture in my feed.  She commented how proud of me she was at my progress.  I responded to both the post and the comment to thank her for her kindness.  She replied back on the collage post to tell me she thanked me for being such a loyal customer and that she hoped I knew how deeply she appreciated it.

Here is a person I’ve never met face to face and I’m having a positive impact on her life.  By being a loyal customer I’m helping her dream company come true.  By making all the progress on keto I’m a source of inspiration to her.  And to think a short while earlier I was moping about in bed not happy with my life.

Sometimes you never really know the impact you’re having on others lives. In this case it was good, maybe great.  I didn’t take the actions I took that led to that impact with the purpose of creating that impact.  I just lived my life and it happened.  Without even trying I’m impacting someone’s life.

Here’s the thing, it’s a two edged sword.  As I stated earlier I’m not happy with my job, and I’m sure that I’m letting it show through at work.  I’m not trying to have a negative impact on the lives of others, but it’s possible I am.  I’ll never know.

The two points I’d like to leave you with today are this.  First, be mindful throughout the day.  Know what you’re doing and act with purpose.  Try to stay positive even in situations that you’d rather not be in.  Second, be gentle with yourself.  Even if things aren’t looking their best you can still be having a positive impact on someone.  Even when you’re not trying, even if you don’t know it.  And you’re more likely to be having that positive impact if you’re being mindful and positive.

We act and the impact of those actions ripple through the world we live in.  What that impact is may be something you’ll never know.  Just do your best this week to make it a positive one.  Who knows, if you spend all that time being positive the biggest impact could be on you.  Take care and see you soon.

 

Law of Attraction   Leave a comment

So I was talking recently with a coworker and the Law of Attraction came up.  Specifically, they wanted to know if I believed in it or not.

My response was that I did, but I view it like I do my Prius.  I understand the basic concept of how my Prius works.  I push one pedal and the car goes faster.  I push another and the car slows down.  It’s pretty simple.  Ask me to be a little more specific and I can tell you that when I push the gas pedal down electricity flows from the batteries to the motor which is then transferred to the wheels and the car moves.  Ask me to give you a detailed diagram of my car’s electrical systems and you’re going to come up disappointed.  I understand the basic principles, sure, but not the specific means by which the Prius works.

The best part is I don’t really need to know.  Despite my being unable to give detailed information on how my car performs, I’m still able to use the Prius to get from point A to point B.  And I’m guessing it’s the same for most car owners across America.

So translate that to the Law of Attraction.  The idea is you focus on what you want.  Be it better health, money, a new car, it really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you’re focused on it.  Seeing a life where you already have it.

A famous anecdote about the Law of Attraction was shared by Jim Carrey during an interview conducted by Oprah.  Carrey stated that long before he hit it big, long before he had a reason to believe he’d be a big star, he wrote himself a check for $10 million for acting services rendered.  That was how much he got paid for doing Dumb and Dumber.

Now I don’t know if it was the Force, an energy field of abundance, Santa’s magic elves, or just the power of positive thinking.  And really it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that Carrey visualized with absolute certainty that he would earn $10 million for his acting, and it came to be.

The take home is that if you focus (visualize) intently enough on a specific goal you want to happen it can, and often does happen.  Maybe not exactly as you visualized.  In fact it could differ quite a bit from how you saw it in your mind.  But focus on a goal long enough and it will happen.  If you want to believe it’ll happen by magic, that’s cool.  If you want to believe that it’s simply a self fulfilling prophecy, that’s cool too.  Just as long as you spend the time focusing on your dream until your dream becomes a reality.