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Archive for the ‘why’ Tag

Your Inner Voice   Leave a comment

Have you ever started doing something and for some reason it just started feeling like a bad idea?  Have you ever wanted to buy something and you get this nagging sensation that you shouldn’t?  Have you met someone before that seemed nice enough to you but for some reason you just feel uncomfortable around them?

I think we all would answer yes to those questions.  We don’t know how we know, or why we know, but sometimes we just know things are amiss.  That knowledge is coming from your inner voice.  And the reason why we don’t know how or why we feel a certain way is because we sometimes do a bad job of listening to our inner voice.

Why is that?  It’s our inner voice, so surely it’s working in our best interest.  It’s a part of us so we should be able to trust it.  And we probably would if we recognized it as our voice.  The problem is that we don’t hear it clearly so we dismiss it as nerves, or a chill in the room.  We rationalize it away because our conscious mind has come to a conclusion on the subject and we accept it must be the right one.

So why would our inner voice be at odds with our conscious mind?  Because our conscious mind is easily swayed in the direction we want to go.  When you started doing whatever it was you’re doing right now your conscious mind had a “good” reason for doing it.  You don’t just start doing something for no reason at all.  Your conscious mind decided this was the action you’ll take because it viewed it as the correct action.  It’s therefor biased towards that decision.  Or when you go to the store to get something your conscious mind has already decided that it should purchase that item.  The decision is already made presumably with rational facts to back it up.  And when you’ve already decided you like someone then surely they must be a good person.  Your conscious mind wouldn’t allow you to befriend a bad person.  And you’re a pretty smart cookie so it isn’t likely they could be fooling you into thinking their nice when they aren’t.

Your conscious mind is acting on the principle of confirmation bias.  It will seek out all the facts that justify its position.  Finding facts to support your position is a good thing.  At least it is when you aren’t overlooking facts that suggest you’re wrong.  That’s confirmation bias.  We only accept the facts that confirm our point of view.

Your inner voice is different.  It’s your subconscious mind.  It isn’t interested in right or wrong.  It’s merely going by what history tells it.  It will access all the information pertinent to a decision, whether it confirms a position or not.  It’s noticing all the facts and is seeing something wrong.  So when it’s giving you that off putting feeling about the person you’re talking to it’s because it knows from previous patterns that there’s something wrong with this guy.  It doesn’t care that he “seems nice” or comes off as a “good guy”.  It is picking up on subtle hints that your conscious mind is overlooking that lets it know there’s reason to be concerned.

It’s like your own built-in “spidey sense.”  You just have to tune in to it.  How do you learn to hear your inner voice more clearly?  The same way you hear outer voices better.  You stop and listen.  If you get that tingly feeling at the back of your neck, question why.  If you’re looking at that new TV you wanted and something about it doesn’t feel right, pause a moment and ask yourself “what am I missing?”  And then listen to what your inner voice tells you.  You don’t have to blindly follow everything it says, just give it a chance to be heard.

Another way to hear your inner voice better is similar to what you do when you are trying to listen to music or are on a phone call in a noisy environment.  You change your location to a quieter one.  The way you change to a quieter location in your mind is through meditation.  Breathe in and out slowly and rhythmically, focusing on your breath.  When you feel your body relaxing let your mind relax as well.  As thoughts pop into your head that aren’t related to what you’re trying to figure out just gently release them without judgement.  When your body is relaxed and your mind is calm start asking yourself questions about the area you’re looking for insight into.  Do this often enough and it will become a habit where you can quickly slip into the relaxed and self-aware state.

Like many changes you can make in your life, if you’ve been ignoring your inner voice for a long time it’ll take a while to get back into the habit of listening to it.  But it’s a habit worth spending time on developing.  Your inner voice can be a great and helpful guide if you allow it to be in your life.  As with all things the choice is yours.  Have a nice day.

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Goals   Leave a comment

Go on Amazon and do a search for books on financial success and you’ll find books about how to be a millionaire with no cash in your pocket now.  How to create passive income to be a millionaire.  How to invest to become a millionaire.  How to do (fill in the blank) in order to become a millionaire.  It’s as if the only possible way to be a financial success is to be a millionaire.

Or maybe you do a search on getting in shape.  You’ll get page upon page about books that will help you create rock hard abs.  90 days to a six-pack.  Maybe even books on how to create an 8-pack because a 6-pack just isn’t fit enough.  Books on how to create 20 inch biceps with no equipment in your home.  Bodyweight exercise books promising to give you the physique of a champion, the champion being Schwarzenegger.  You’ll get muscles on top of your muscles.

You can even find books on how to super charge your mind.  A book that will teach you how to become a speed reader so you can finish a new book every day.  You might be more partial to books that will teach you another language in 3 months.  How to become a human calculator.

These books all have one thing in common.  They tell you what your goal should be in advance.  There’s a preconceived notion that if you want to improve your health and fitness you must be going for the body of a greek god.  Or if you’re looking for financial success the true and only goal is to become a millionaire.  Unless of course you’re a high performer, in which case you’re shooting straight for billionaire or bust.  When it comes to improving your mind, obviously your brain needs to be able to learn and retain things on a level on par with The Matrix.

These are the goals that society has decided are proper goals for each endeavor.  But they aren’t necessarily your goals.  Don’t get me wrong, these goals are perfectly good goals to have.  That’s if, of course, you want them to be your goals.

Take me for example.  This may come across as financial heresy, but I just don’t want to be a millionaire.  What I want to do with my life doesn’t require me to have that level of cash.  My goal is simple.  I want to be able to get a nice class B RV and spend my life just touring North America.  Who knows, I might even decide to try South America as well.  I don’t need to be a millionaire for that.  I don’t even need to be a quarter millionaire for it.  There’s nothing wrong with my goal.  I’m not aiming low.  I’m not settling.  I just don’t see the need to own a huge mansion with several high-end sports cars out front.  I don’t desire that.

Now for the fitness goals, yeah I’d actually like to have bulging biceps, tremendous traps, and 6-pack abs.  However your goal may be different.  To you, being able to walk upstairs without needing a nap afterwards could be sufficiently fit.  You might not be interested in being able to rip that back of your shirts apart with your super broad lats.  Instead you just want to be able to sit in an airplane seat comfortably for a cross-country flight.

I’d like to learn another langauge or two.  I would definitely love to improve my reading speed so I can take in that many more books.  But I don’t particularly care if I can do Calculus in my head.  To you a great working brain might entail not being foggy all the time.  It might be having the ability to crush anyone in a game of chess.  Or something altogether different from anything I’d imagine.

What’s important to remember in all this is your goals need to be your goals.  Not what society deems proper goals.  If your dream life is to earn $50,000 a year, the fact that other’s might respond “That’s all?” isn’t a negative reflection on your goal.  It just means it clearly isn’t their goal.  Which is fine because they aren’t walking your path, you are.  You don’t need to justify your goals to anyone other than yourself.  If you have buy in on your goals you’ll accomplish them.  That’s why they have to be yours.  Because if you’re chasing society’s goals you just don’t have the buy in, which means you won’t have the success.

Be happy with your goals.  Confident in your goals.  And most importantly, have a steadfast faith that because they are your goals, and you’re truly worthy of attaining them, you’ll reach that destination.  I wish you the best of luck with your goals.  Have a great day.

Posted 10/07/2018 by senso1970 in Uncategorized

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Why?   Leave a comment

I listen to a variety of podcasts and read a lot of books. I think this moves me forward along my journey to be my best self. I just don’t think there’s anything such as bad information, so long as you always ask “Why?” at the end.

You see the problem with the information we are exposed to isn’t the information, it’s the lack of critical thinking we put into it. We often hear something and either accept it or discount it uncritically. Why?

We’ve spent a long time becoming the person we are now. We’re very invested in that person. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So we hesitate to do anything that upsets the apple cart. But if you’re that certain of the person you are there shouldn’t be any problem asking those “Why?” questions.

If you ask Why? and follow that thought critically you’ll discover one of two things. First is, you were right to hold that view or belief. Yeah you! Or you might realize that you could be a little off. Maybe even way off.

It sounds bad at first but think about this. Once you’ve identified a problem you can fix it. Once you’ve fixed it you’re back to being right again. You’re back to “Yeah you!” That’s a win.

Asking Why? is the path along which we get to the best version of ourselves. We’re often told not to question ourselves. Have confidence in who you are and what you believe. I think questioning yourself is the best way to show that confidence in who you are and what you believe. So go ahead and start asking yourself Why? a lot. You’ll love the results of being comfortable challenging yourself. Have a nice day.